Anonymous asked: I know this guy likes me...but we barely even talk. He asked me to prom, and I said yes because it was in public. I dont plan on turning him down because I want to give it a try since I almost never talk to guys. So why not right? I am totally fine being friends with him. But i dont know what to do since our conversations are so awkward. It's like i'm obligated to hang out with him after he's asked me out. There's like some issue with me and boys idk XD what should i do/act like?
Aww that’s so sweet! :) And hey I really don’t think you should underestimate yourself. I’m sure that as long as you really try to talk to him, it’ll stop being awkward and you guys will become good friends (and who knows, you might fall for him..) I know that may seem hard to believe but personality really grows on someone, especially when he’s sweet and nice (and he does seem so).
You should just be yourself honestly :) You can start up conversations during awkward silences by starting off with a stupid pick-up line like yours truly (“How much does a polar bear weigh?” “How much..” “Enough to break the ice! Hi, nice to meet you! *shakes hand*” LOL. It’s cute and lame, but effective.) Then pick up a common interest to talk about: music, sports, even classes, whatever. You guys will grow on each other and it’ll be less awkward, and maybe you’ll even want to hang out with him (and fall for him :D) It’s crazy how life works out sometimes. The most beautiful things grow out of the most unpromising circumstances.
Anonymous asked: Would it be okay if I messaged you unanon on my separate blog? It doesn't reveal my personal info, but still the same person.
Haha of course.
You told me to reply in this message so as not to reveal his identity, so here it is. Thank you for telling me who he is! And yes, I know him. He’s a very sweet boy with a kind heart, but I’d be just a tad bit cautious around him. Something happened a while ago between him and I, and I’d gladly tell you if you came off of anonymous. Don’t worry, I won’t judge you, but I think you deserve to know, haha.
But I don’t think there should be any problem.. other than the fact that you shouldn’t get your hopes up. I don’t think that he’d ever intentionally hurt anyone, but I honestly don’t think he falls for people easily. :/
erinaceousflux asked: One thousand confessions and aren't you beautiful. Thank you for being the best of humanity. <3
Aww :’) Aren’t you the sweetest Callum?
Anonymous asked: there is this guy who likes me, and have been for quite a while now. we're great mates, but recently our relationship changed from friends to friends with benefits... i've made sure that he was okay with it, and we know that its pure physical. its not like we dont hang out just as friends, but idk what to do!
Well first of all, what do you mean by friends with benefits? Like light cuddling/kissing, or heavy make out session that eventually leads to uh.. sexual activities? Because if it’s any of these two, but especially the second, you should know that you are going to eventually become emotionally attached to him, and vice versa. This could become really, really messy.
But first of all, let me just tell you that you should talk to him about it! There’s nothing wrong with open communication; in fact, it’s really the only way any relationship or friendship can succeed, haha. If he’s the type to be afraid of ‘scary’ heart-to-heart conversations, then just casually bring up the topic about what you two are at this point. Even if he tries to brush it off, DON’T give up. You deserve an answer after all this time with him. Most guys are afraid of commitment and will become nervous at the thought of committing immediately, but you should let him know that you aren’t looking for a title just yet and you want to talk about it. That’s really the only thing to do, and the most mature choice.
Okay, secondly.. if you two are doing heavily sexual activities, I have to warn you. I know you wouldn’t want to hear this, but he could just be using you :/ Of course this probably isn’t the case since I don’t know you two, but if this is happening, I think you should be a little more cautious and DEFINITELY talk to him about it. Make sure you’re adamant about the fact that you need answers before anything else continues.
Anyway, since he says he likes you, you two should be okay :) Hopefully you guys will evolve into an actual couple because being just friends with benefits is never.. well just friends with benefits haha. I wouldn’t want either of you two to get hurt.
Anonymous asked: I've fallen for a guy I met on here, I think you may know him actually. He's such a wonderful guy and we talk almost everyday. Although I don't know if I'm just thinking about it too much and it's not so much a big deal that we talk a lot. We've joked about traveling to places but I don't know if I'm reading too much into it. I'm sure he's met other people here and he might just be friendly with everyone and it's not just me that he talks to a lot. I can't help but wonder. Your thoughts on this?
Oh goodness.. I think I know who it is. Do you mind telling me the first letter of his name? I honestly can’t give you advice until I know for sure, because if it’s who I suspect it is then I’d advise to you stay away from him as far as possible.
But anyway, if he is truly a sweet guy and doesn’t seem to flirt around with other girls a lot, I’d say that there’s nothing to worry about :) I think this could be going somewhere, but it’s a bit too early to tell for sure. Just keep continuing this friendship; a little flirting back and forth never hurt anyone, right? (Again, as long as he’s not doing it with every girl out there. If he is, cut off all ties with him.)
Just continue with this flirtationship and read his signs every now and then, but please, PLEASE don’t spend most of your time analyzing his every word and mood, because chances are, you’ll misinterpret them into something more and you’ll go insane from trying to read into everything haha. Just keep it casual and simple :) I hope you two will involve into something more! asdlfaskf I love hearing about these cute almost-relationships, they’re adorable to read about :)
Oh, and I know quite a lot of people on here, if you want me to uhh give you advice on him as a person, you could always anonymously send me his URL and I won’t publish it. I’ll make a new post addressing what you should with him next :)
Anonymous asked: how do you know if a guy really loves you?
Well I assume you’re speaking about a boyfriend who has told you he’s in love with you, but you’re not sure if you believe him, right? I’m not sure, so I’ll just assume that that’s the case.
Well first of all, do you TRUST him? Notice how I didn’t ask if you loved him because that’s irrelevant (for now); but do you trust him? There are so many guys out there who will do anything just to get a girl pants, but there are also a lot of guys who genuinely do love their girlfriends. And then there are the ones in between who think they love someone, but it’s really just teenage infatuation.
First scenario: the horndogs. Let me just put it this way: STAY. AWAY. FROM. THEM. I know it may seem exciting to try out.. things with your boyfriend because it makes you feel so incredibly mature and grown-up, but we’re young and we have so many more years to engage in sexual activities with other people. It’s so much wiser to wait rather than regret a decision you’ve made. And I’m not even talking about sex; any sexual activity is pretty much emotionally linked to a girl’s heart and it can damage her for good. Anyway, sorry for going from love to sex, but my point is is that many people out there will proclaim their ‘love’ to you just to get some.. so if he’s been pressuring you to have sex with you in the past, then it’d be reasonable to be highly doubtful of him. Don’t trust his words, and don’t trust him. Actually, if he’s been doing all this, dump his ass.
Second of all, if he truly loves you… then he truly loves you :) If you don’t feel as if you return those feelings just yet, it’s okay to let him down gently (Please don’t pull a Jess from New Girl and say “Thank you,” that’ll just make him feel even worse than silence). I won’t tell you what to say instead if his love is unrequited because he needs to hear your feelings from your mouth, not from mine. :)
Third of all, if he’s somewhere in between, then it’s your choice to decide what to do. You could either hint that it might just be infatuation, but that could be a really heartless thing to do to a guy who’s just said he loves you. He could feel like you’re accusing him of lying. Or you could just pretend that you believe that he is in love when he’s not.. personally, I’d be straight up honest (with kindness, of course, I’d never be rude and blunt), but that’s just me.
Sorry if I didn’t really answer your question, it’s just really vague and I’m a little confused. Sorry I took over a week to reply haha, but hopefully this helped!
Anonymous asked: I've been having a very stressful year this year, especially since my parents have been making it very difficult. I know that college is important and grades matter but I'm not allowed to do anything for fun anymore. They put me down all the time and nothing I do is good enough. I feel like my friends are getting tired of me because I'm not allowed to hang out with them and at times I just want to give up from all this pressure sometimes.
:( You know, I was just having a similar talk with my friend the other day. She was stressing so much about grades and I told her, “Grades are simply a number representing all the knowledge you’ve gained throughout your teenage years.” These grades are important and indicates how hard you’ve worked through your high school career, yes, but they’re not everything. As long as you try your best, you really should be satisfied with your end results. I know it may be difficult seeing how your parents are pressuring you so much, but definitely take the time to reward yourself when you’ve known you’ve given an assignment or test your all. Tell yourself, “You know what? I tried my damn best and I’m going to take a second to congratulate myself and feel good, because I DESERVE it.” Don’t let these four years measure your success in the future. I go to a school that’s very.. academically driven, and I guess I’ve absorbed a lot from the numerous lectures our teachers give us about how we worry too much about grades and how that isn’t going to define us. The college you go to most likely won’t be the same one you graduate from anyway (you can always transfer to your dream school if you don’t get in right after HS); and besides, there’s so much more to success than academic intelligence. Let’s look at some of the most famous and successful people in numerous industries: Oprah, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, etc. They didn’t get to where they are simply because of school smarts, but because they also had characteristics of leadership, self-esteem, confidence, business management.. they also know how to take risks, etc. There are so many more qualities to a successful person than simply what they got in their English class in high school. The important thing is to absorb as much knowledge as you can and work your ass off, but don’t berate yourself when you don’t get a 4.0. Haha I’m so sorry this is so long, but I’ve given many of these talks to stressed out friends before so I just can’t stop talking haha.
And what I just said to you, I think you should sit down and say to your parents. Have a heart to heart conversation with them about how you KNOW that you’re trying your best, and you’re pushing yourself too; and it’s great that they’re there for encouragement but if they keep pressuring you, you might just end up breaking. They do it because they love you, and if they see this is hurting you this much, I’m sure they’ll stop being as strict. :)
And as for your friends, I’m sure they understand. you can always have a talk with them as well, and tell them that you’re sorry but your parents are just being way too strict (unless they agree to lay off for a bit, then this problem’s solved!). Just talk it out with them, you know? You guys won’t know what the other one’s thinking unless you communicate.
Good luck to you! :)
Anonymous asked: Hi, I feel like whenever I talk to some of my friends, I'm so inferior because they are such outgoing people. I really want to learn how to communicate like them because they always get the message across. I hate being alone and not knowing what to say, how to respond. It's like, my personality is not strong enough. I think I have very little self confidence. Or it's because I've become such an unemotional robot, I don't know how to respond anymore. I don't want my opinions turned down. Help?
Aw anon, please don’t feel inferior or adequate. Trust me, we’ve all been there, and your seemingly perfect friends have probably felt insecure too. You’re not the only one, okay?
The thing you should realize is that no one’s ‘perfect’ and everyone was born different. You need to stop comparing yourself to them and realize that you are a beautiful and unique person as you are, even if you don’t garner the same reaction from them. We are so set on thinking that there is only ONE type of person that everyone is attracted to and wants to befriend that we fail to realize how many people we value in their lives. Don’t you have any close friends you admire who have personality types more similar to you?
I could tell you to put on fake smiles and tell silly jokes, I could tell you to be wild and loud and obnoxious, but the truth is, that’s not who you are. I suppose you could start out with simple things like trying to make solid eye contact when you talk to people, smiling when you feel like it instead of suppressing them, talking to people you’d normally stay away from simply because you think you aren’t good enough. But the first step is to love yourself, because everything would be useless otherwise. You can’t expect others to love you if you don’t love yourself first. Don’t analyze your own flaws and compare them to others’ positive qualities, because everyone is a compilation of complex and twisted things, and it is up to you to try and appreciate every part of you. As difficult as it sounds, it is achievable. Only then will you become someone you are proud of, and thus, rid yourself of this insecurity that is overcoming you.
Have you ever read Eat, Pray, Love? It’s an interenationally bestselling phenomenon and was made into a huge Hollywood movie. It’s a true story, a memoir, and the author reflects on how her whole life, she’s been the outgoing social girl who everyone enjoys talking to; but she still vies for the kind of quietness shy people have. She says that she’d rather be a quiet kind of a girl, and even refers to them as ‘ethereal.’ So think twice before you start to believe that there’s only one kind of person people enjoy talking to, because you really never know :)
I hoped this helped <3 Thank you for the question :) You’re free to talk to me off anon if you wish too! I’m never judgmental and I’m happy to help anyone who comes my way.
Anonymous asked: i have this friend who is really pretty and every single guy wants her. im just average. we are best friends but the problem is that i feel like shit with her. all guys ignore me and talk to her or they talk to both of us or just her, never just me. she has tons of guys texting her and emailing her and i dont get any. i have never had a boyfriend and she has had 5. i reallly want a boyfriend but i feel like every guy looks at me as "the hot girls friend" and im always compared to her and i HATE that. it makesme shy self concious and no self esteem. should i stop hanging out with her? or continue to feel like shit with her? idont know what to do she takes ALL the guys.
Oh, I’m sorry anon. If it makes you feel any better, I know how you feel. I had one who was like that too. Does she talk about those guys all the time? Is she freaking obsessed with boys and try to ruin your relationship with them? Is she manipulative and scheming? If so, yes, distance yourself away from her. Do it gradually because if she’s lying and deliberately hurting you all for the sake of attention, she’s not a true friend after all. Just slowly pull yourself away from her—you guys can still be friends, just don’t hang around too much with toxic people like that. Just don’t start any drama, don’t talk about her behind her back, etc. Handle this maturely.
If she’s NOT trying to hurt you on purpose, of course you should stay friends with her silly! She has done nothing to hurt your feelings on purpose, and you shouldn’t cut ties with her just because you’re a bit jealous of her. I’m sorry that she gets all the boys.. but sometimes, that’s just the way life is, you know? :/ Don’t hurt her for something she can’t control, please.
I can tell you’re super insecure and you’re longing for a boy, any boy. And let me tell you, that’s one of the most deadliest combinations ever. Please promise me you won’t date a guy JUST because he’s cute and likes you—you have to make sure you two have a trusting bond and a relationship that will last before you get into anything. Don’t let guys pressure you into doing shit you don’t want.
A relationship is something precious, and it’s not always 100% fun and games all the time, you know? Take your time, don’t rush into anything so fast, and don’t want to grow up so fast! Trust me, having a boyfriend is.. is hard work. At least, if you want an adult-like, mature one (and those are the only ones that last). You’re young, you have time to date in the future. I’m sure you have a lovely personality and you can get any boy you want once they get to know you.
Remember, looks attract but personality keeps. If she has an awful personality, no one would want to stay around. But if you’re the type of person whose smile lights up a room—then EVERYONE will notice, despite your exterior appearance. You’ll be fine, okay? <3